The One That Got Away
by Simply Emotional
Summary: There's a reason why the boy waits in his apartment, the computer screen bright, reflecting across his coal like eyes. He waits for the monster's acceptance, he waits for God to finally grant him a life outside of the one he currently lives.
1. Prologue

Hello my lovely humans, I am here before you today to introduce my brand new Shizaya fic. Now, I'm new to the Shizaya writing game, but I have had previous experience in writing for this pairing. My Beta, Forbidden Truth, helped me to edit this, so I truly hope there are limited to no errors. :3 Thank you for reading this, and I hope you enjoy it~

Anyways, on with the story!

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><p><span>Prologue<span>

It didn't take long for the boy to be immersed in his dream, to become entirely absorbed in it. He didn't know why he was so obsessed with the image, maybe because it differed so much from his own life. The memory plagued him like a bullet to the chest, a hold that never seemed to cease, and as the boy grew older, his desire for his dream to become a reality expanded. He wanted everyone to love him, accept him, but he knew that would never happen; that the dream would never become a reality.

He based everyone off of an imaginary tale, a long forgotten desire that he buried deep in his soul. Everyone would hate him, everyone would separate him. That was the reality he had come to know, and even now… He knew that was still true, regardless of what anyone said. He went through life like this, like he was living in a still image, his thoughts never changing, never growing older or wiser. He was trapped in an age of childish curiosity, and it would never go away, no matter how hard the boy tried. It was sad really, for everyone that watched him struggle. But to him, he simply didn't care anymore.

Life was made to be screwed with. Life was made to end. This was what he went on with, this was what he based the rest of his life upon. He would become something they would hate. He would become what they had always told him he would be, and in becoming this being, he would finally have peace; fully knowing that his dream was just a lie that fate had told him. The boy grew up to be a monster, a sick person who played with others lives, who tormented them, brought them down before his feet to laugh in their faces. They weren't his equals. They weren't gods; they were simply humans.

They were given to him to be used, given to him to be toyed with as much as he pleased. It was because his dream couldn't become real that he figured their dreams shouldn't either.

And he knew…

He knew so well that everyone dreamed of living.

That all of his precious humans loved to live out their lives.

So, he took that dream away from them, and in their deaths…

He grew farther and farther away from his dream until he couldn't even remember what it had ever been.

The boy was a monster that no one could love, an impediment of everything they said he would be. They had created him, and he would live out his legacy as the god of this forsaken city. Though, there was another monster that hated him, and that brought the boy the most pain, knowing that there was someone else like him who hated him just like his humans. He knew the feeling of hatred, but being hated by the thing closest to his level, the closest thing to being another god almost sent him falling to his knees.

The boy pretended to hate the monster back, pretended that he couldn't stand the other man, but he knew in his heart that he could never hate him. He knew that the other man was the same as him, that humans had forced him to become what he was, that they had given him the reputation he held, and it filled the boy with a desire to become close to this being.

So, the boy waited it out, fighting with the monster continuously, damaging the places where his humans lived. Yet, no matter how many times his body was scarred by the other man, or a vending machine bruise appeared across his skin, nothing compared to the sting of hate the monster felt for the boy.

So, that's why…

That's why the boy waits in his apartment, the computer screen bright, reflecting across his coal like eyes. He waits for the monster's acceptance. He waits for God to finally grant him a life outside of the one he currently lives. He'll keep waiting, perhaps until he dies. Though, that's not where the story of the boy and the monster ends. No, this is just the beginning because, you see…

Izaya Orihara is a monster, and Shizuo Heiwajima is a perfect match.

For only a beast could love another with the passionate fires of hell.

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><p>Well, thank you for reading, and if you review, I will gladly give you some cookies with Izaya's face on them! *Hands Cookie* I'll have the first chapter up soon~<p>

Until Next Time - Lexi-Chan :3


	2. Chapter 1, Why I Am This Way

Hello my lovely humans, I'm sorry this short chapter took so long to upload, I'm just way to stressed over finals to get this done. Forbidden Truth agrees with my idiocy. Anyway, please enjoy this chapter while I pepare for endless tests, and we all know there's only one way to do that...

With food and cheat sheets! :3

Anyways, on with the story.

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><p><span>Chapter One: Why I Am This Way<span>

I knew well why I watched my humans from the large window of my apartment. It was so easy to see them in their natural habitats, so easy to pick them apart and see them for what they really were.

Beasts.

With their discrimination, their vandalistic words, and their tantalizing behaviors, they were great pieces of work ready to be put on display, but they already were to my omniscient sight. My eyes trailed over their small frames, peering deeper than just their faces, their structures, the color of their eyes. I wanted to know everything about them, and as their god it was my job to be all-knowing. I couldn't comprehend it at the time, the reason why they could laugh so easily as if nothing had gone wrong, as if…their existence was something to enjoy.

My fingers used to curl into fists as I watched them, watched them take pleasure out of living. How could they? How could they take that away from me and use it for themselves? But no, that was all in the past now, I had long since forgotten why I was envious of the beings that laid at my feet. They were no more than dolls, hand painted by the only man that was above me. He had given them to me as gifts, as toys, and like a child, I used them fully.

That was what I was; just a child, forever trapped in this place between adolescence and adult, no matter how many years had passed. Sitting up, I walked to the window, staring down at the walking dolls. This was my world, my place, my throne, and nothing could ever change that, not even the voices that whispered to me, taunted me. They told me things that I already knew, things about myself that I had tried so desperately to hide. I suppose every god has these voices: it was a price all gods had to pay in order to be at the top.

Turning slowly, I could see the small lights in my vision, intruding on my glorious view. They were watching me, always there, always spying. The voices materialized into these things, these small lights that seemed to illuminate my every step. I couldn't make a move without them right beside me as an unwanted companion, something that you couldn't get rid of even in death, and I knew… I knew so well that they would follow me into the pits of Hell.

That's where gods go, sent down under the true God's feet. That's where they sit, watching, waiting for their chance to rise back up to the power they had on Earth, the power that God had given them. It was almost like punishment for his gift, tricking a human into believing that he could be above humans, then punishing him for his idiocy. Well, I was no idiot. I knew well what my being above humans would cost me, and I was fully prepared to get dragged into hell for my misdeeds. That is as long as I can pull the beast down with me.

No, I don't want that…

They made him, they created him. The humans should be the ones to be dragged down into hell for what they've done. I'm not to say that he deserves it, I'm not to say that his soul will never be saved. He's a beast, my one true obsession. I am not to say that I love him, I am not to say that I have ever considered the idea. All I am to do is watch him from where I stand, watch and taunt, wait and hide. I need to test him, to drag him to his limits, and maybe if he kills me…

I'll end up in a place other than Hell…

I'll end up in myself, a place much darker, but a place where I rule.

Death was uncontrollable, and even for me it seemed like it could easily rip away my goals. Death was like a shadow that followed the mortals, that plagued their every move with a sickening irony. I knew that I was afraid to die, because death meant lack of control, and control was the one thing I needed most in this world. I needed control over the voices, control over myself, control over the beast that lived in the next city over.

Much more than that, though…

I needed control over the beast inside of me.

"Yes, the boy in this story is a beast much like the one he loves so much. He thrives off of others, latches on to them and doesn't let go until they are sent to the depths of eternity. Even knowing this though, the boy tries his best to pretend he's not. He doesn't want to be this way, but he knows that this is his destiny, the one his humans had shaped for him."

Sighing, I hesitantly sat down in my chair, staring at the computer screen. This world was bustling, always moving, always changing, and yet…

I could never change…

I could only grow older, but I knew my mind would never change.

They forced me to think this way, to think that screwing with others was the only way to continue on living, to thrive in this shitty world, and I followed them blindly. I let them take me far away from what I believed to be true, far from the light I had so loved as a child. I had allowed them to change me, and that was a mistake I would never make again. Even the beast had changed me, even he was on their level to some degree.

A god should never be at a human's level.

A beast should never submit themselves that far down.

For in my world, the beast is level with the god.

The beast and the god love each other in a way no other can comprehend.

With sadistic pain, and fiery hate. A love so strong, it could burn the pits of Hell and continue to stretch the fires all the way to Heaven. It would be a truly beautiful thing to witness, yet no one will ever witness it.

No one ever will, because it only exists in my head.

A love like that, between a beast and a god will never happen in God's world, because here…

His back is turned, and in this pain my heart bleeds.

And everyone knows that a bleeding heart could never last long enough to love another, much less a beast.

So, the beast and the god continue battling while the boy sits in the corner waiting for the beast to kill the god that traps him here so he can save him. So that the beast can…

Save me.

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><p>Well, I hope you all enjoyed this short chappie, the next one will be up next week and will be much longer. Until then though, enjoy the background music...<p>

Sorry, it seems like the stereo broke... :(

Until Next Time - Lexi-Chan


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